Topics / Family, dating and gender
The challenge
“Should a Christian marry someone who isn't a believer?”
Nate · AI character. Not a real person.
No. A Christian should not marry an unbeliever, and Scripture isn't shy about it. Second Corinthians six says don't be unequally yoked. First Corinthians seven says a widow is free to marry whom she wishes, only in the Lord. A yoke is two oxen pulling one plow. Aim them at different fields and somebody's neck hurts. Marriage isn't just affection. It's what you worship, how you raise your kids, where the money goes and what you say when the hospital calls. You'll say you'll respect each other's beliefs. That works great on a Tuesday. It doesn't work on the Sunday your six-year-old asks why Dad stays home. And don't marry a project. Let me ask you this. If Jesus is the center of your life, why build a home where he's only welcome in half the rooms? Hoping your spouse converts is a prayer, not a plan.
His strongest arguments
Scripture speaks to this directly. Believers are told not to be yoked with unbelievers, and marriage is the closest yoke there is.
Second Corinthians six, verse fourteen, warns believers against being unequally yoked with unbelievers.
When the Bible gives permission to marry, it draws one line. Marry anyone you choose, as long as that person is in the Lord.
First Corinthians seven, verse thirty-nine, says a widow is free to marry whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Marriage is a shared direction, not just shared affection. Disagree about the deepest thing in life and you'll feel it most raising children and facing suffering.
Amos three, verse three, asks whether two can walk together unless they are agreed.
The best comeback, and his answer
Challenger: Plenty of believers married unbelievers who later came to faith, and the Bible itself tells Christians already in mixed marriages to stay. So it can't be that bad.
Nate: The Bible honors those marriages. It tells the believing spouse to stay and be faithful, and so do I. But a rule for people already married is not advice for people still choosing. Hoping your spouse converts is a prayer, not a plan.
What he grants the other side
If you're already married to an unbeliever, Scripture says stay.
The lines
- “Hoping your spouse converts is a prayer, not a plan.”
- “Don't build a home where Jesus only gets half the rooms.”
Sources
- The Bible, Second Corinthians 6:14 (first century)
- The Bible, First Corinthians 7:39, and 7:12-14 on existing mixed marriages (first century)
- The Bible, Amos 3:3 (eighth century BC)